Cold Time...

It's so cold now...

I feel really unhappy, and I don't know why. I was feel that way almost all my life, with any reason, or without. Why?!

I want be happy, smiling, enjoy my life...

Right now I'm about 120 pounds. It's strange because I can see difference with my body, I can wear smaller clothes,  but My weight don't change. I don't do any heavy exercise to gain muscle, so i don't know what's going on with me...

Tonight is the party time, so I'm gonna try not to eat, and drink less.

xxx

Day Three...

Another day... I wish It was already about months not only three days...

Why Oh why the time is go so slow... I think is because I think about my diet everytime....

I'm trying be positive, I can do this...

 

My today menu:

 

 Greek style fat free yoghurt with raspberry

Banana with Apple 

Coffee

Still don't know what have for dinner.

 

 

Stay strong...and positive :)

Day Two...

So Pretty...
 

It's day two of my new diet... I feel alright, wake up really hungry, so for breakfast I had a bowl of fat free greek yoghurt with about 30/40g low fat gluten free cereal - good :)

I'm gonna start Gym tomorrow, but I still work out at home, and I'm using bike every day. I'm trying to accept my body.

 Day One Menu: 

Banana with grapefruit and Coffee

Noodle with Spinach 

Apple

Total: less then 600 calories :)

Today Menu:

Fat free Greek Yoghurt with cereal

Roast Sweet Potato with zucchini and leeks

Apple

Total: 600 calorie

I keep track of what I'm eat on my iPhone. It's a bit crazy, because You have to note everything you eat, and plan everything You gonna eat.

Why the time when You are on the diet sound so long:/

Long Way 2 Go

 5'3''

Current Weight: 125.6 lbs

First Goal: 120 lbs

Second Goal: 110 lbs

Goal Weight: 103 lbs

I know It's long way to go, but i will try do that. I want achieve my Goal in two months time, 

600 Calorie diet plus fitness. 

 I'm gonna start Gym again, and I will eat ( I will try eat) healthy but with minimum fat and calories. Lots veggie, fruits and some protein to build muscle so my body will be not flat looking;)

 kpop (jpop) starts - always skinny and pretty....

 

...Pathetic...

Stupid fat cow...

Yes I am!!

So i went today after work to Tesco to weight myself ( they have BMI machine) I was 117 pounds a bit down, but still not enough. I was in quite good mood, Tired because it's very hot right now so my low blood pressure don't like this. Everything was Ok before I came back home. 

I just don't know why, I just start eating everything around me... So bad... bred, ice cream, jam, mozzarella, salad, chips...Stupid me...Why?! Why now!!! Two days left and that happen!!! So stupid!!! So PATHETIC!!! 

After my binging I purging. I don't think so I threw up everything, later I make some exercise not long ( hot) about 15 minutes but I swear I sweat like a pig. Now I just try calm down myself and drink double laxative tea....

Tomorrow I'm gonna eat nothing!!! Only energy drink to dehydrate a bit my body.

My dress size 6 waiting for me and I'm doing some stupid things like this...

:(

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

"Mirror, mirror on the wall
ruthless to your victim
suiting you becomes my love
tied to my reflection
hunger takes a hold of me
making my decisions
glossy fashion magazines will feed my new addiction

skinny
all these voices singing
skinny
all my monsters singing
skinny
got to fit that new bikini

skinny
all the world is singing
skinny
all them girls are swinging
got to fit that new bikini
 

 Hiding in my baggy jeans
No one knows my secret
Hiding from the eyes that see
I have been defeated
mirror, mirror on my wall
ruthless to your victim
Suiting you is all i know
A slave to my reflection

skinny
all these voices singing
skinny
all my monsters singing
skinny
got to fit that new bikini

skinny
all the world is singing
skinny
all them girls are swinging
got to fit that new bikini"

Three days left... I'm gonna look amazing...

Feel a bit down today, but now I just drink glass of cold water and I'm going to bed early. 

I want check my weight before Saturday, but i have to go to town to do this after work. Lets see.

I hope to lose 10 pounds till that time.. I know it's crazy, and I know my "plate" so it's not gonna be easy... Finger cross:)

Today at work one of my friend try give me some sweet chocolate, and when I say " no thank you" she get upset. She always do it. I really don't like when people trying to be nice to you and give you some sweets... If I want I can by chocolate!!! 

...But maybe she's doing that because she's trying lose weight too and she try to keep me fat... I know stupid things:)

12 Pound Lighter:)

No.

I feel ok, I couldn't sleep last night, so in the morning I felt a bit dizzy. I took vitamins, hair pills, I drank coffee, I ate yogurt, and after shower I went to town do some shopping and tan session:)  .

I was at Boots - they have a BMI Machine so i check my weight.. I was curious how much I weight.
Last time when i check my weight I was 132 pound ( ouch ).  Now I'm 120 pound!!!! I lost 12 pounds.
Another 10 and I'm gonna rich my goal!:)

I don't understand why I lost so many weight in so short time... before I was starve myself too and it wasn't work... and now... I don't even know did is possible... yes i check this twice.

So now my old trousers fit me, I feel good, I can feel my bones and I lost my boos:/ whatever... I don't need boobs I want be skinny!!!

:)

"Dear Fat Get The F... Out Of My Body."

After three days on My Crazy Liquid Diet, I thought  I would die.. I felt  so weak and bad on Monday morning at work,  I could not even stand! So after work I came home and eat a bit of dinner( bad decision). Ofcourse I was binge for another three days ( stupid fat cow). 

But for the last four days I'm again on diet. This time I'm eating a yogurt every morning (low fat) and then I drink about two cans of energy drinks at work to keep me awake. 

I don't do heavy exercises, because I don that before and maybe that's way I felt so bad. Now I'm just walking about 3h so it's should be enough ( don't like my "soft" skin right now).

One more week until my evening party.. I'm gonna look good!!!

:)